The Scariest Couple
by Demon of Cats
Summary: When a darkness tries to reenter Unohana's life, what will Kenpachi have to say about it? Who would he kill to protect his secret love?  Kenpachi/Unohana centric with hints of Ikkaku/Isane. rating will go up with added chapters. fits into my Mi Hermano AU
1. Chapter 1

The Scariest Couple

Chapter 1

Starting the Courtship

By Demon-of-Cats

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, the Tite does. I own my OC's and OOC's_

_Warnings: This is AU and has some spoilers along with some coarse language. I would have nixed the language but, Kenny wouldn't let me. Kenpachi/Unohana centric._

_No Flames please, but constructive criticism is welcome._

_Timing: This starts about a week after Sajin's appearance changes in Chapter 23 of my Mi Hermano AU._

Kenpachi Zaraki sat on the wall surrounding the Squad Eleven training grounds and for once, just watched the goings on within.

He wasn't afraid or anything like that, hell no. He could mop the floor with the losers down there. None of them could match him.

Romance however, that he was afraid of, or at least uncertain of. You couldn't get a woman to like you in simple ways, there were rules and regulations tied to each woman. Every woman was different too, so what worked on one wouldn't necessarily work on another.

Women were complicated creatures.i

And the one he was after could scare the members of his squad with words not even remotely harsh and a tone that seemed so gentle.

Yet, that simple tone also held all the ferocity of a storm.

Retsu Unohana, what a woman she was indeed. Powerful and beautiful, with just a single hint of nonconformity in her nature, if that braid had anything to say about it.

Kenpachi sighed as he thought about her, how to go about wooing her, what she would be like in bed . . .

He'd been with his fair share of women in bed, he wasn't a virgin by a long shot.

She would probably look down on that, but it wasn't like Kenpachi to give up before he started. If she looked down on him for it then she wasn't the woman he thought she was, but here he was judging her before she even got the chance to judge him.

He wasn't a slut, neither were the woman he had been with. Both parties had needed a single time, to release their unspent need, never to see one another again. He had taken measures to make sure of that as well.

No death involved, thankfully, just simple preventative measures to make sure. He wasn't as much of an idiot as people thought him to be, in fact he liked to think at times. He just preferred fighting to thinking. Instinct drove him in his fights, he knew how to move to win. When he didn't, he learned how and drew on what he knew to win.

Kenpachi finally sighed and then glanced around before heading to his room. He took the bells from his hair and allowed it to fall loose around his face and then combed it so it wasn't in his eyes. He looked in the mirror and nodded at his reflection then paused. He had never noticed before, but with his hair down he didn't look as . . . what was the word . . . feral perhaps . . . or even fierce.

He looked . . . handsome.

He then grinned as an idea struck him.

In Squad Four Unohana was busily working. She wandered around for a bit and then, once she was done she made some tea for herself. She drank the calming brew slowly as she watched the sky.

She thought back on her past, and wondered if the one man whom had her heart even cared for her.

She wouldn't try to be different for him, she had done that once when she had been very young.

It hadn't ended well.

She didn't even want to think about it but, the memories pained her.

She would wake from nightmares and find tears in her eyes, remembering that terrible time.

"Retsu," a voice called her out of the past and back to the present and she turned to the man that had called her by her first name.

Her eyes began to sting the moment he saw him, but she held back the bitter tears and instead spoke, "It is Captain Unohana to you."

The man frowned and then walked forward into the moonlight. He had long silver green hair, which blew free in the wind yet looked immaculately cared for. He also had a black shihakushô of a squad member and smiled pleasantly to her quite suddenly, "I just wanted to see an old fried again."

"We are no longer friends Mr. . . . what is your name now any way. You change it so often I can't keep track."

"Ryu now actually," the man growled.

Unohana nodded and then said, "Leave now Mr. Ryu. I don't wish to deal with your lies tonight.

Ryu growled again and then smiled suddenly, "But I came to tell you I forgive you Retsu. I forgive what you put me through in that prison."

Unohana let her composure slip for a moment, "YOU PUT YOURSELF THERE WHEN YOU-" she caught herself, "it was your own fault."

"Your evidence put me there," Ryu said and took a few steps forward, "If you hadn't come forward, I would have been a free man."

"Leave."

"No. I want you to apologize to me."

"I will not apologize for doing what was right! You had to learn what you did to me was wrong! I couldn't let you, continue to harm other women!"

From a distance Kenpachi watched as Retsu verbally sparred with a silver haired man, demanding that he leave several times. Her normally calm exterior was beginning to change into someone backed into a corner. Tears were forming in her eyes.

The tears were not lost on Ryu, and he thought them a victory.

"May I cut in," a deep voice to Ryu's right spoke and suddenly the blade of a zanpaku-tô was at his throat, "To your throat for making Lady Unohana cry."

The blade looked beaten up but it easily sliced into his flesh leaving a tiny, warning cut on his neck.

Ryu turned his head slightly and instantly knew he was doomed, especially when Captain Kenpachi Zaraki had a blade to his throat.

Unohana's eyes widened as she took in the sight of him. His usually tattered clothing had been replaced by a very fashionable kimono and his hair was down and well combed. He still wore the eye patch, which was probably the only reason that Ryu hadn't passed out yet.

He cleaned up well.

Who'd have guessed.

"Don't slit his throat," Unohana said as her calm began to return, "Just throw him into Squad Eleven training grounds in the morning and have him 'work' with the rest."

Kenpachi grinned, a very demonic look, then he disappeared for several minutes.

When he reappeared he was in Squad Eleven and dragged Ryu to Ikkaku's room, then told his third seat to keep an eye on the bastard and beat him to a pulp in the morning.

"Unohana said for me to work with the rest! Not for me to be beaten to a pulp!" Ryu cried.

Kenpachi turned and glanced at the man, "That is what you get for causing tears to come to Unohana's eyes. You cause them again and I will kill you," he then walked out

Ryu was about to protest and then paused when he heard the sound of a fist meeting a palm. There were several members of Squad Eleven there now, all of them respected Captain Unohana and to hear that this man had nearly made her cry.

From the distance Kenpachi heard Ryu scream in pain and smiled to himself as he reentered the clearing that he had just dragged the bastard from.

She was still there, and she gave him a look that was almost shy.

"May I sit with you?" Kenpachi asked.

"Yes," Unohana said, "Would you like some tea?"

"Of course," Kenpachi said as he sat next to her. He accepted the cup she gave him and smiled at the scent of it before taking a sip.

End Chapter 1

i This comes from a woman, people.


	2. Romance

Chapter 2

Romance

By Demon-of-Cats

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, the Tite does. I own my OC's and OOC's_

_Warnings: This is AU and has some spoilers along with some coarse language. I would have nixed the language but, Kenny wouldn't let me. There are also hints of Ikkaku/Isane in this chapter along with a lemon of Kenpachi/Unohana._

_No Flames please, but constructive criticism is welcome._

Seven weeks after Ryu had entered the courtyard of her home, Unohana was patiently waiting for someone. She had tea ready and waited for the man who had showed he was so much more than a fighter to her.

She remembered, with amusement, the first time they kissed. She knew he drank a lot, and was surprised when his breath didn't smell of sake or smell foul. He seemed to catch that and explained the reason.

He had gotten tired of Yachiru's bad breath, and the only way to fix it was to give her a good example to go off of. Thus, as she watched him all the time, he had to brush his teeth. He did it grudgingly at first and then, after some aspects of his health improved, did it more frequently.

Yachiru's breath also improved dramatically, the smell of mint was much better than bad breath. She complained of tooth aches less often as well, which meant fewer trips to the dentist.

All in all an excellent change for the better as Yachiru hated the dentist with a passion. She had to be sedated every time they took her because otherwise she would either attempt to run away or, in more than one case, beat the poor man or woman to a pulp.

Unohana had just chuckled and then kissed him again, full on the lips. He had grinned and then pulled her close and deepened the kiss.

"Captain Unohana," Isane called from over the wall, "May I speak to you?"

"Of course," Unohana said and then took a sip of tea.

Isane appeared in front of her and then smiled, before speaking, "I was going to tell you that I was off."

Unohana smiled warmly and then, "Enjoy your evening. If he treats you badly let me know."

"Ikkaku hasn't treated me-!"

Unohana gave her an amused expression, amused that her Lieutenant had fallen for that one so easily.

"He just embarrasses you nearly to death doesn't he," Unohana said after taking another sip of tea.

Isane scratched her head as a blush crept across her cheeks, "He means well . . . he just . . . speaks without thinking."

Unohana smiled, "He'll learn."

Isane smiled and then nodded, "He's improving already. I better go; he's meeting me outside the café. I'll see you tomorrow Captain."

Unohana nodded and then watched as Isane left. Quietly she sipped her tea and then she felt him approach. His energy sent a thrill up her spine.

"May I join you?" Kenpachi asked as he walked into the courtyard.

Once again he was dressed well and had his hair down. He sent butterflies in all directions in her stomach and she said a polite yes before pouring him a cup of tea.

This was only the second time she had seen him dressed so well and looking so handsome.

He sat down next to her and accepted the tea she offered before stealing a kiss. She smiled and he noticed that her hair was braided in the back tonight. He simply smiled and scooted closer to her, carefully maneuvering himself as close to her as possible.

She didn't want to leave that embrace, and kissed him after she placed her empty teacup down next to the teapot. His was there as well.

His hand pulled her close as her arms wrapped around his neck.

She was on her back on the porch suddenly with his hand cradling her head as he kissed her even more deeply. There was fabric between them but the friction of their bodies rubbing against one another caused her to moan into his mouth.

His other hand wasn't exactly idle either, as it teased her through the fabric.

They broke apart for breath and just as he was about to bend down to take her mouth again, she pointed above her head.

"Second door, bedroom," she panted.

He grinned and soon they were there in that room. Quite suddenly he was nude and she was still dressed on the bed.

She tried to stand to undress herself when he pushed her down on the bed again. His fingers nimbly undid the belt and opened her shirt, exposing her to him. He worked her into a frenzy just undressing her and teasing her body with kisses and caresses.

He was then inside of her, rubbing that spot inside that made her nearly scream in ecstasy. His hard member thrust deeper and deeper into her as he watched her loose control.

_My Retsu has a bit of a wild side in bed I see,_ Kenpachi thought to himself as he pleased her and himself with deep thrusts. He couldn't help but grin at that, enjoying the side of her personality that she never showed.

Unohana couldn't think as there was too much pleasure in her system blocking all trains of thought. The thoughts that did appear came out of her mouth in single syllable moans of pleasure.

When she came Kenpachi covered her mouth with his and she shrieked her pleasure into his mouth before collapsing and allowing him to finish with her.

He was a little more dignified as he thrust the last few times and growled deeply when he came, his jaws wrapped around her shoulder.

She felt his hot semen spread inside of her and waited out the end of his orgasm. When he was spent he lay next to her on the bed and pulled her close. There was a content smile on her features as she fell asleep against his shoulder. He grinned and then fell to sleep next to her.

Unohana woke first the next morning and instantly noticed that her body hurt. It wasn't too painful, rather pleasant actually. Just her shoulder hurt painfully and she touched it and got a shock.

She'd been bitten by her lover. A perfect imprint of his teeth adorned the flesh on her right shoulder. She felt his energy in the bite as well, it marked her as his. She didn't care though, in fact it made her happy, happy that he thought so well of her.

Her stirring woke him and he glanced down at her with half lidded eyes, "Mornin'."

"Morning," Unohana whispered and cuddled closer to him, a warm feeling entered her as he wrapped his arms around her, "Did you sleep well?"

Kenpachi smiled, a genuine smile, then whispered, "Yes. I hope to sleep well for many more nights with you as well. I had meant to propose before but I suppose this will work even better. Retsu Unohana, will you be my wife?"

Unohana blinked and then nodded before planting a kiss right on Kenpachi's lips.

_I'm the luckiest bastard in the world,_ Kenpachi thought as he kissed Unohana. Then after the kiss broke, "I love you Retsu."

"I love you, too, Kenpachi," Unohana purred from his strong embrace.

End Chapter 2


	3. Baby Blues

Chapter 3

Baby Blues

By Demon-of-Cats

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, the Tite does. I own my OC's and OOC's_

_Warnings: This is AU and has some spoilers along with some coarse language. I would have nixed the language but, Kenny wouldn't let me. Kenpachi/Unohana centric._

_No Flames please, but constructive criticism is welcome._

_Timing: 30 years before Himiko and Haruka are born and roughly, give or take a year of so, 15 years after Kenpachi and Retsu get married. I have to call her Retsu now, as there are now two Captains known as Captain Zaraki._

Retsu waited out the day, she knew what was happening in her body, she had diagnosed it enough recently to recognize it within herself. She was pregnant.

Though, thankfully, she didn't have some of the same problems as other members of the female population.

Morning sickness had avoided her like the plague and her temperament, when working, was normal. She just wanted to clean house and have her husband fuck her senseless when he was home and they were alone.

She also had very few unusual food cravings. The only odd craving was something very odd indeed, pickles and chocolate ice-cream.

Oh the wonders of pregnancy.

The moment she realized it she got a glassy look in her eyes, and had smiled for the rest of the day. Not too unusual, except for the glassy eyed part which got several people wondering, quietly, if someone had drugged her.

She then went home and told her husband the news.

He had been overjoyed as well, his own child. They had Yachiru, as they had adopted her once they had married. But, adoption was different than a child related to you by blood.

Yachiru was growing like a weed, too. Currently she was exactly four foot tall, a full six inches taller in, the equivalent of, one and a half years.

Really it had been fifteen years but . . . aging one year for ten changed things a bit.

Retsu was excited as well, she had watched all of the women around the Seireitei having babies and felt a little left out, now she would have one of her own to take care of.

The hidden mother hen that she was couldn't wait.

The moment Yachiru found out, the news was spread across the Seireitei like a wildfire. She was going to have a little brother or sister.

Everyone waited in, either eager or scared, anticipation to see what the child would be like.

Many failed to realize that the personality was not decided at birth.

With such differing parents, what the child would be like was anyone's guess.

Would the child be a bad ass healer, a gentle looking fighter, somewhere in between, or even a clone of one of the parents?

There were bets, mostly set up by Matsumoto and Kyôraku.

When their first child was born, a little boy, the Seireitei held its breath.

Kenpachi suddenly became a doting father when at home. Though his personality was still hard, he wouldn't be rough with his child.

His personality at the squad building hadn't changed a bit though. He was still a bad ass there.

Anyone could see that little Ayden Zaraki was a very happy little boy, from all angles.

In the end, that is all that matters.

End

_A/N: Scared you with the title didn't I?_


End file.
